Beer, instrumental in the creation of the world, part one

I recently saw a show on the Discovery channel the other night that informed me about one thing that we all should be thankful for, and that is Beer.

Beer truly makes the world go round. Yes I learned that beer is the basis for everything in this world (I shit you not). The show was simply amazing, so grab a bottle and learn a little something from the Chicago's night life sexual underground. Early man was a hunter-gatherer, each day he wandered around for a couple of hours hunting looking for something to eat. May it be animal or vegetable it didn't matter the routine until around 9,000 B.C. Of course early man did a lot of  fucking also or we won't be here (to enjoy a good beer).

One of the things they gathered was barley. Well one day just by accident a container of barley was left outside and it rained, so guess what happened? The barley naturally fermented and some brave cavemen dared to drink that fomented, frothing mixture and boy did he yell, THIS TASTE GREAT, and it also made him feel really good 15 minutes later.

The caveman motto for beer became: Taste great and makes you fly like a bird. This caveman go so excited that he called all his cave buddies over to his cave to try out this great tasting brew; and what do you know, by the next full moon, they all moved into caves next to this great and wonderful party animal. This my dear reader is the true history of how communities and villages were first formed, all because of beer. (Ok, I made this last part up.)

So let's continue this wonderful story.  It was because of beer that man settled down, to plant and raise the crops that made beer (I shit you not). And as it turned out this drink was certainly was better than water. With this new discover mankind developed the mathematical designs to plot land and so we could keep track of the barley beer harvest. To be near beer people gathered together and towns sprung up. Did you know that the pyramids of Egypt were built by workers who were paid – that's right, in beer!

Lets jump ahead a bit to medieval times. I learned that the water ways rivers, brooks, streams,  reservoirs weren't keep clean for there was a lot of shit and piss floating around. So the drink of choice, you guessed it was beer because the water was boiled first and the bad shit was boiled out (the makers of bear didn't know this, they felt the boiling of the water made a better beer).

Colonists coming to the new world drank beer on the ships because it would keep. A famous event that took place before our revolution (and which a political group today is named after) came about when a group of colonists gathered at a tavern in Boston and decided to dump some tea in the harbor. Of course they were drinking only the best beer when they made that historic decision.

Find out more about beer and porn in part two of Beer, Instrumental in the Creation of the World.