Matt Rivera, Extreme Cheapskate and Hottie Wrestler

Recent exhibitionists include frowsy, blowsy “hillbilly” woman who makes each member of her family use the same bathwater because it saves on the water bill, or a slim blond California matron who serves salad to her family made out of grass because it’s free in between rounds of pussy whipping her boyfriend because he takes hot showers that last longer than her millisecond limit. 

Not much sex appeal there, more an ew! in the case of the former cheapskate, or in the case of the latter tightwad, anger, because the woman is apparently loaded. Think millions. 

Last night’s show made the ew! factor transform into a raunch fetishists dream world. 
 

Hottie Matt Rivera, well-muscled pro-wrestler wannabe, lives with Mama on about $300 a month. He purposely avoids the thousands of dollars an aspiring pro wrestler can spend on gear and gym memberships. For example, he binds his stompy wrestling boots with tape (shoelaces are too expensive), reuses Kleenex (ew!), and sports a used wrestling cup. 

Now, if you see this Latin hottie, the raunch factor comes into play. A used cup? And get this, he owns two pairs of underwear. He uses the sniff test to figure out which pair he will wear each day. His mother waxes him (ouch!). Come on, dude, there was no mention of a girlfriend (once can see why, given his hygiene habits), but wouldn’t you like some sweaty gay raunchpig to apply some of that pain and then make you feel good by shoving his face into your cup? 

If Matt’s pro wrestling ambitions don’t pan out (on the show, he flunked the audition mostly because of his cheap gear), I think he’s got a future in gay porn. He’s got the current look (bald head, gym body, tattoos), a casual, unforced masculine attitude, and, most significantly, he won’t have to spend money on gear. 

I’m not sure Mama would approve if he chose that path, though. Perhaps he needs to hook up with a Sugar Daddy who wouldn’t have to worry about overspending on his hot boy toy.