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The Big Zucchini

 

Actually, according to various Internet sources, the "big" zucchini is actually a small summer squash.


And also, not just because of its phallic shape, but really and truly an aphrodisiac (see below)!

Some zucchini facts:

Zucchini is really a fruit, not it is treated as a vegetable in the culinary world. It is the swollen ovary (yes, a female part, despite its phallic shape) of the plant it comes from.

The indigenous peoples of Central and South America had been eating zucchini for thousands of years, but the zucchini we eat (and it really didn't become popular in the United States until as recent as thirty years ago) was developed in Italy. Zucchino in Italian means “small squash.”

Now, here's the connection with sex. Apparently the roots that zucchini grows on absorb minerals that build both red and white blood cells, enhancing the circulation of oxygen in the blood. Thus, if one eats this vegetable before sex, your performance will improve markedly. I haven't found case studies that prove this yet, but check out the aphrodisiac blogspot for much more detailed information.

And, for men who suffer from health issues related to the prostate, nutrients in zucchini also reduce the symptoms of benign prostatic hypertrophy (BOH), a condition in which the prostate gland enlarges and leads to complications with urination and sexual functions in men.

There's even a recipe for an aphrodisiac salad which features chopped zucchini and that other vegetable associated with strength and virility and Popeye, spinach. Yes, they call it the sex salad.

And by the way, I made a bunch of zucchini bread which I distributed to several people over the holidays. That activity didn't snare me a husband. Maybe I need to forget about the bread and just focus on the zucchini. Because before you know it, summer will be cummin' in …

For more men and sex (and sex involving vegetables, literally), check out some of these classic porn films, available both on DVD at bijouworld.com and streaming instantly at bijougayporn.com!

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Y M C A (with hand motions)

 

In the 1970s, a youngish housewife in the west suburbs of Chicago dances to this tune on the green shag carpet. She gets her toddler to do it, swinging him by the arms. Her high school age son looks on with a combination of horror and embarrassment.

More than 40 years later, at her grandson's bar mitzvah in Buffalo Grove, Illinois, Bubby Ruth Goldstein (known for her get up and go) takes over the dance floor from her hip hop loving grandson and his friends when the band, in an effort to get everyone involved (an exhausting but necessary requirement for such functions), tries the nostalgia trick. It works.

Has this song become only a nostalgic camp crowd pleaser? Perhaps. I know the current Village People perform primarily on the nostalgia circuit (I saw them at gay Halsted Market Days and at “straight” Taste of Chicago because these popular commercialized festivals attract multiple ages and they need the “older crowd” of boomers with the spending power these days).

But there's a history behind and after it which, despite the campy appeal of the piece, is quite interesting because what we normally seem to think is true about this song ain't necessarily so.

According to Felipe Rose, the group's founder in an interview with the Huffington Post, "I don't think Jacques' intent (Jacques Morali, the original producer of the group) was, 'Oh, I'm just going to put together a group for the gay audience,'" says group member Eric Anzalone (the biker). "He knew the music industry and he knew if he had a hit in the clubs -- which, in the '70s, the gay, the Latin clubs -- that was the place to be." Thus, perhaps, the gay subtext was not meant originally.

 

But then, also according to the Huffington Post, explaining to Rose that the controversy was actually about whether Victor Willis (one of the original members, no longer peforming with group, the leather guy) was against it being used as a gay rights anthem, and not about whether he was against Russia using it at the Sochi Olympics, Willis said, "To the band? Well first of all, the song was never written about anything to do with gay... "It was just a filler song, based on the ex-producer seeing the YMCA sign during lunch and asking us what it meant. Sure, there was ambiguity and they were using a double entendre, but it was really just supposed to be one more song to fill out the album."


From what I have heard (not seen) about many YMCAs in general (one friend told me all one had to do was leave your bedroom door open as a signal for sex), one could argue that there was no way getting around a gay subtext.

I also found out that the famous hand motions came from the kids on Dick Clark's famous American Bandstand, according to Ray Simpson, the cop in the group. He said, "The kids from Dick Clark's 'American Bandstand' actually started the hand motions because we weren't smart enough to come up with that...We decided that was good, let's put it in the show."

I think there's more to this song than camp and nostalgia. Gay sex at the Young Men's Christian, yes Christian Association? Enough said. I just find it interesting that in addition to this irony, the ladies love it too. I haven't yet told my mom (the woman I refer to the first paragraph) that she was dancing to what is now a gay anthem of liberation. Perhaps she needed to feel, however vicariously, liberation as well in those tumultuous seventies.

 

Now, one reader's amazing response to this bog post:

 

Enjoyed the YMCA feature. A few points though - Willis was the original cop (the much missed, gorgeous (& straight) Glenn Hughes was the Leatherman). Ray Simpson replaced Willis as cop when he left prior to Can't Stop The Music.  The "classic" VP lineup didn't come together until their second album, Macho Man.  Only Willis and Felipe Rose are on the first album.  As for them not being put together for a gay audience - that seems more than a little revisionist not to mention a tad disingenuous.  Check out the cover of the first album (attached) and see if you think there's anything remotely veiled about it!  The song list for the album was San Francisco ("Folsom Street on the way to Polk and Castro" - what were those famous for?), In Hollywood, Fire Island (who's favourite summer resort?) and Village People as in Greenwich Village, famous in the 70s because...?  Back in '77 I was a 16 year old disco boy and I well remember the way they not-so-subtley repositioned themselves when they gained mass fame and success. (I still have many of the cuttings from the UK press back then).

 

The second album, with Macho Man, I Am What I Am (not THAT version) and Key West was still pretty out there too!

 

As the other straight man in the group I guess Willis (who also wrote many of their lyrics) might feel embarassed about the gay aspect, though it clearly didn't concern him too much at the time.  Quite why Felipe Rose should come out with such nonsense is another matter.  Given how far the acceptance of gay people and their rights has come on since then it seems wierd to spout that garbage now. Ah well!

 

Fun to read nonetheless, just wanted to set the record straight (so to speak).

 
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I've Come To Say: Yes, We Have Bananas

I've Come To Say: Yes, We Have Bananas

 

Bananas have become pretty much a staple food in America (and also a source of much sexual innuendo, see below), but they are a comparatively recent addition to food culture in Western civilization.


It's obvious that before the opening up of the New World and global trade routes and technologies that bananas weren't easily accessible to Europeans. But even as late as the Victorian period, when one could buy them, they weren't exactly a popular food item. And not because of Victorian prudery. Many Victorians complained the fruit tasted like soap.

By 1910, however, bananas were consumed widely enough that slipping on a banana peel became a trope in Western physical comedy

According to Wikepedia, an American comedy recording from 1910 features a popular character of the time, "Uncle Josh", claiming to describe his own such incident:

Now I don't think much of the man that throws a banana peelin' on the sidewalk, and I don't think much of the banana peel that throws a man on the sidewalk neither ... my foot hit the bananer peelin' and I went up in the air, and I come down ker-plunk, jist as I was pickin' myself up a little boy come runnin' across the street ... he says, "Oh mister, won't you please do that agin? My little brother didn't see you do it."

The song “Yes, We Have No Bananas” was written by Frank Silver and Irving Cohn and originally released in 1923; for many decades, it was the best-selling sheet music in history. Since then then the song has been rerecorded several times and has been particularly popular during banana shortages.

Banana shortages occurred during WWII in England primarily because of the Japanese takeover of Malaysia; in America, which did not suffer such an involuntary shortage, they had become such a staple of cookery by the 1950s that bizarre concoctions such as the infamous ham and banana cassserole.

 

The Chiquita banana lady became iconic; in fact, she died recently. Her name was Monica Lewis; I remember her in a smaller part as a secretary who gets pushed out of an elevator in the movie Earthquake.

Bananas as aphrodisiacs tie into the old sympathetic magic idea that the the shape of an item ties into the physical and emotional qualities of similarly-shaped items (like the mandrake root, another reputed sexual energy source, which resembles a cock and balls). The shape resembles that of the penis; but interestingly enough, the symbolism may actually reflect reality, because they also contain bromelain, an enzyme which Dr. Oz says triggers testosterone production, and the fruit's potassium and vitamin B elevate energy levels.


The phallic allusions in bananas are ominipresent. In fact, the cover artwork for the debut album of The Velvet Underground features a banana made by Andy Warhol. On the original vinyl LP version, the design allowed the listener to "peel" this banana to find a pink, peeled phallic banana on the inside.

I think it's the act of peeling the fruit and having to basically hold the soft inside and swallow it as one long object (one only need maybe to cut it up when it gets too small to hold) that seems to evoke endless potentials for sexual innuendo.
 

Even films that show someone eating a banana in reverse seem to evoke endless fascination on youtube (I remember seeing one on the children's show Zoom in the 1970s). In this case, the soft becomes hard again, I guess.

Beulah, peel me a banana. No, wait, get this stud below to do it. Yum!

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Ladders: Up or Down, That Is the Questionnn

Lately I've been spending too much time on ladders. Literally. I moved house, my next door neighbor and other friends have asked me to help them with projects that involve ladders, and the Bijou Video office moved. All that moving and packing and sorting and fixing and hanging up items usually involves some kind of ladder. Up and down, down and up.

In the Old Testament, the patriarch Jacob supposedly experienced a theophany when he saw angels ascending and descending on what some have claimed is a ladder (or was it a stairway?). Lucky for him.
During sex, one of the participants penetrates the other. And hopefully, orgasm, le petit mort, occurs. Boundaries literally explode. Heaven and earth collide.

And in death, the physical mechanism of life visibly (we can see the results such as rigor mortis) ceases. Whether a soul or spirit actually leaves the body and ascends to a heavenly realm is beyond the scope of this blog. Whatever the case, the primal fear of touching a corpse indicates that humans sense a profound change has occurred. The body eventually disappears, usually descending into the ground; the ladder returns to the closet or storage shed.

I'm going to take a break from literal ladders for a while after almost falling off one, but you can certainly keep enjoying boundary-crossing sex at bijouworld.com and bijougayporn.com.

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Ho, Ho, Homophobia Has Got to Go!

 

I heard that a neighbor of Bijou Video's new office location (West Lakeview or West Wrigleyville) knocked on the door, claiming he was expressing concern shared by people in the neighborhood about the adult nature of the business.

First of all, how did this person find out? But then, websites like everyblock.com often report business licenses and building violations. Useful of course, but depending on one's motivation, the potential for harmful gossip, stereotyping, or even blatant prejudice exists.

Secondly, it's not like we are actually making adult movies. We sell vintage gay porn. Vintage. Like 30-40 years ago. Perhaps the neighbors thought they would see half-naked men parading in and out of the place and camera on the street. But then, would the neighbors be complaining if an individual was making amateur porn from his/her apartment and selling it via the web? Perhaps, but then the person is not doing this activity as an official business, and if it's consensual adult sex, whose business is it, anyway, privately or publicly? And, it's not like we are doing anything that would physically disturb a neighbor, which might be the case if one was making and selling porn in one's apartment. Police Scanner Log: 1500 West Bryon, loud sex noises coming from apartment 3S. Constant blasting of music. Buzzer keeps ringing. None of this goes on in our office.

Most significantly, I find it perplexing but sadly believable that the complaint may contain roots in the straight frat boy culture of this area (which also was the case in the latter part of our Wells Street tenure). I am sure around here half-naked straight jocks parade around getting drunk and vomiting an publicly urinating (the last activity strikes me as more pornographic in a kinky sense) and create an atmosphere where violence to women can occur. I would be much more concerned about such behavior, which escalates when the Cubs play home games at Wrigley Field and especially on St. Patrick's Day.
 

However, this neighborhood is also gentrified as well, where the straight jocks and their girlfriends usually become stroller dads and soccer moms. Thus the ugly homophobia which associated anything gay as threatening to children is probably the main cause of such “concern.”

Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. And in some cases, maybe they should also dress in the basement.

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