Thanksgiving Porn?

We at Bijou Video carry some of the best Halloween porn, and we are in the process of coming out with some interesting “Christmas tree” porn, but Thanksgiving porn?

Seems perhaps an oxymoron, as turkeys and green bean casseroles and Norman Rockwell grandmas in aprons (and family feuds too), don't seem to lend themselves particularly well to erotic expression.
 

Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving

I did a search on google, and Thanksgiving porn does show up; on pornhub, I found an image of a cute young guy in bondage trussed up like turkey on a table, but not much else that really ties into the holiday.
 

CTA train, Chicago

I did find a link to a Thankgiving parody vintage gay porn video from 1983 called Spanksgiving, complete with wavy lines that indicate a well-played Beta videotape and the ubiquitous pornstache. It's pretty hilarious, if you now what is being satirized. I particularly enjoyed the placement of the pumpkins around “Rock Hansen's” crotch.

Perhaps the easiest erotic connection one could make with a day that focuses on food is food porn, which comes in all shapes and sizes. I don't think some of the usual Thanksgiving food items would work with assplay (a firm zucchini, for example), as they are usually too glutinous and goopy. But if you get into messes, I guess one could certainly rub some cooled down gravy on a willing victim and lick it off. Ew …
 

Traditional Thanksgiving food

I am forcing the issue here, I am afraid.

I am wondering perhaps it Thanksgiving could be a day to rest form the libido; instead of feeding it with a healthy diet of erotic play, one just feeds. Literally.

Perhaps the inevitable nap could stimulate some cuddling, which could always be start rof some hanky panky rather than the end of it.
 

Cute guys cuddling

But most significantly, remember that many LGBTQ persons will not be able to spend time with blood family. I hope that many will thankfully enjoy Friendsgiving, a newly coined word that emphasizes inclusivity and the real situations of many who courageously created their own bonds of love and sharing.
 

Friends toasting over Thanksgiving meal
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Cereal and Cock

Every day for breakfast, except on weekends: a bowl of cold cereal. For me, the thrill of themed sugar cereals wore off quickly, even the Halloween-themed ones Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry (let's dump sugar and colored marshmallows in milk, yum!). 
 

Halloween novelty cereals

For a brief while I enjoyed eating Captain Crunch dry, out of the box, as a snack, even as a young adult, especially during a hangover.

 

I briefly toyed with Golden Grahams and granola-based cereals in high school, but my aversion really developed when I had to empty a bowl of half-eaten milk-sodden Cheerios into the kitchen sink when I was babysitting my youngest brother. The family dog at that time got Cheerios for breakfast too, and that dog would eat anything, even her own poop. 
 

Cheerios in bowl of milk

Let's just say I have developed an aversion to this staple of the breakfast menu, and it's not just an American phenomenon. The traditional English breakfast of eggs, bacon, kippers, tomatoes, beans, and fried bread (hello, cholesterol attack) didn't appear on the household table when I studied in London in the early eighties except when I stayed at bread and breakfast establishments (so, maybe it is strictly for tourists, perhaps). Guess what? We ate cold cereal with milk. 

Sometimes Muesli, a breakfast and brunch dish based on raw rolled oats and other ingredients like grains, fresh or dried fruits, seeds and nuts, that may be mixed with milk,was available, apparently very popular in Europe. I thought it resembled vomit. 
 

Muesli

Even Dame Joan Sutherland, the late great Australian soprano, asked a house guest what type of cold cereal he wanted with breakfast. She was taken aback when he responded that he never ate cereal in the morning. 
 

 

 

 

The anti-masturbation crusader John Harvey Kellogg of Kellogg's Corn Flakes fame pretty much started this whole breakfast-cereal-in-the-morning fad which soon became a tradition. His “granula” treat was produced to prove that a healthy diet with plenty of fiber could keep one's hands off one's wanker. At that time, in the late nineteenth century, processed foods were becoming prevalent in American diets, especially in urban areas, and consumers embraced the convenience perhaps more than the health benefits. 
 

John Harvey Kellogg

Well, John Harvey, I find it quite interesting another name for the now traditional image of the rooster on a box of Corn Flakes that evokes images of the sun rising on amber waves of grain on the fruited plains of American the beautiful is cock. Ha! 
Kellogg's Corn Flakes box

And John Harvey would probably collapse if he found out about an idiosyncratic genre of gay porn, cereal porn. Yep, guys get off on watching hot guys eating cereal, like Dave Daniels in our title Morning, Noon and Night!
 

Dave Daniels eating Cheerios shirtless in Morning, Noon and Night

 

And there's a genre in the macrophiliac world called cereal vore porn. The hot giant swallows the little guy while eating cereal, sometimes drawing the process out. Lots of slurping and near misses as the little guy swims about in the milk. 

 

Still from cereal vore porn

 

Maybe the fetish has got something to do with the guy's mouth, and maybe the act of eating cold cereal, because it involves ingesting something both solid and liquid. And of course, cum is often compared to milk. De gustibus

If you get excited by someone eating smoked salmon and spinach for breakfast, come over to my house. You can have all you want!

 

 



 

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The Big Zucchini

 

Actually, according to various Internet sources, the "big" zucchini is actually a small summer squash.


And also, not just because of its phallic shape, but really and truly an aphrodisiac (see below)!

Some zucchini facts:

Zucchini is really a fruit, not it is treated as a vegetable in the culinary world. It is the swollen ovary (yes, a female part, despite its phallic shape) of the plant it comes from.

The indigenous peoples of Central and South America had been eating zucchini for thousands of years, but the zucchini we eat (and it really didn't become popular in the United States until as recent as thirty years ago) was developed in Italy. Zucchino in Italian means “small squash.”

Now, here's the connection with sex. Apparently the roots that zucchini grows on absorb minerals that build both red and white blood cells, enhancing the circulation of oxygen in the blood. Thus, if one eats this vegetable before sex, your performance will improve markedly. I haven't found case studies that prove this yet, but check out the aphrodisiac blogspot for much more detailed information.

And, for men who suffer from health issues related to the prostate, nutrients in zucchini also reduce the symptoms of benign prostatic hypertrophy (BOH), a condition in which the prostate gland enlarges and leads to complications with urination and sexual functions in men.

There's even a recipe for an aphrodisiac salad which features chopped zucchini and that other vegetable associated with strength and virility and Popeye, spinach. Yes, they call it the sex salad.

And by the way, I made a bunch of zucchini bread which I distributed to several people over the holidays. That activity didn't snare me a husband. Maybe I need to forget about the bread and just focus on the zucchini. Because before you know it, summer will be cummin' in …

For more men and sex (and sex involving vegetables, literally), check out some of these classic porn films, available both on DVD at bijouworld.com and streaming instantly at bijougayporn.com!

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Pizza: Always a Big Deal

Pizza: Always a Big Deal

 


Pizza's been in the news big time lately, and it is a big deal because of the LGBT rights issues involved. Memories Pizza in Indiana claimed they would not cater a same-sex wedding (not that this Mom and Pop outfit catered weddings anyway, but that's beside the point, and I don't really know of a wedding reception with pizza as the main course unless it was on the show Extreme Cheapskates, again, beside the point). This outfit, since closed, received almost a million dollars in support from most probably religious fundamentalists of a certain ilk.

Pizza, rather than a wedding cake, has become the food of controversy in the same-sex marriage debate.

Now, based on people's general attitudes about pizza, I'm not that surprised that at some point a pizza outfit got involved in this controversy.

Pizza: what is it about pizza? It's not that is just a popular food that has taken on so many shapes and forms (and in gay porn, sex with pizza delivery boy is a cliché) but there's something, I don't know, deeply psychosocial about the way we approach it in the United States. Quite amazing for a food that essentially began as a vegetarian “peasant” food, a simple dough with a simple sauce on it.

 

Ancient pizza maker mosaic


In the United States, pizza seems to be the center of so many social functions. Not just the obvious ones like the Superbowl Party, but diverse work and school functions. In fact, I remember pizza was often a bribe to keep the masses docile.

In elementary school, the promise of a pizza party was definitely held over our heads to promise good behavior. The good classes got pizza, but the bad classes got nothing. The really bad classes got to pull weeds outside.


When I ushered at benefit concerts in college, the ushers got pizza to ensure they were not served food only for the wealthy benefactors, which happened one year, creating a furor among the administration.

And at one notably condescending paternalistic place I worked at, the floor who got the people out in the least amount of time for the fire drill “won a pizza party.” Yes, pizza on paper plates, and you got your own soft drink from the vending machine. Thrillsville. Our floor didn't win.
 

Sign reading It's a Pizza Party! Thank you to our entire team for a project done fabulously well!Pizza as privilege. Pizza as a bribe. Pizza or the lack thereof as punishment.

Pizza, pizza, pizza!

I like pizza (even though it modifies my waistline just a bit too much), and I also like pizza delivery boys.
 

 


 

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