Hot Buttered Cop

By Josh Eliot

The GM at Catalina Video kind of just rolled his eyes when I told him the title of the latest movie I intended on making. It was going to be a movie solely focusing on a day and a night in the life of the boys in blue. “I hate that title,” he chirped and I came back with, “I love the title! Can’t you just picture it? Some hot stud in uniform bursting out of a box of movie theater popcorn!?” Let’s face it, the title in hindsight is kind of cheesy and lame, but that’s not how I felt back then.

The official title of the movie was Hot Buttered Cop Porn (2006) and the DVD did have a hot stud bursting out of the popcorn box. It just wasn’t the same ol' hot stud I intended to grace the cover. Edu Boxer, a hot European model and a worthy choice, was the star that made the cut. I originally cast another European export, Tamas Eszterhazy, as the actual lead of the movie and cover boy. Tamas is extremely sexy and had a body to die for, but the decision to replace Tamas with Edu on the box was the GM’s. It’s all good, they both are hot, but I felt bad because we specifically shot special glamour layouts of Tamas for the cover, and I’m sure he wasn’t thrilled to see that he was bumped. I guess it was probably the Catalina GM’s way of getting me back for insisting on a crappy title. Very much like the same shit he pulled one year earlier with my movie Menace, a sci-fi sexual thriller, which he re-titled as Cute Enough to Eat (2005). “Cute enough to fucking eat,” are you kidding me! I was not happy about a title so sweet on a movie so dark, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the script’s theme. It really aggravated me, but I just bit my tongue. I was also annoyed because we had some great shots of Arpad Miklos looking “stellar” for the box cover of Menace, but the GM made us re-shoot it with “hot bubble-butt boy” Zachary Pierce squatting over a table of fruit and vegetables. Thank goodness whoever designed the newest DVD cover had the insight to put Arpad back on it. Cute Enough to Eat did well upon release because it was a solid movie, despite its ridiculous title. On YouTube, thanks to The Catalina Collection Channel, it found a bit of a cult following and the team at Red Bubble are still selling a faux movie poster they designed of it featuring Steve Rambo.

But that’s another movie for another blog; here we are focusing in on Hot Buttered Cop Porn.

The movie is strong, damn strong, as proven in the opening scene with super handsome Marcos Pirelli and ultra-hung Mike Power. Officer Pirelli responds to a silent house alarm, discovering Power, who broke into the place. He is coming out of the shower and when asked to “put your hands up,” his towel drops, exposing his larger-than-large cock. Like any good cop, Pirelli cross examines the naked, semi-hard suspect, who agrees to pay the fee for staying at the house with his giant dick. Great sucking, fucking and all that goes with it as the scene unfolds. We shot this scene at cameraman Brad Austin’s house and the rest of the movie at locations throughout Palm Springs and Palm Desert. I even cast my neighbor down the street, Tess Kirby, to play the foul-mouthed female cop in a non-sexual role; Kirby was the name of her cat.

Box cover boy Edu Boxer worked with his real-life lover Manu Maltes in a super-hot scene between these two hairy and handsome studs. What I didn’t count on was Edu’s accent and language barrier, so I threw out the script for their scene and, on the fly, rewrote it while they were in make-up. Manu spoke English very well so I gave him all the lines, while I had Edu play a wounded officer whose vocal cords were damaged, so he needed to respond to Officer Maltes with hand-written notes. If was different, that’s for sure, but actually worked and was a charming way for one officer to seduce another. The scene was hot, but I had to keep yelling at my production assistant because he kept sneaking off, sucking on Manu Maltes every chance he got. That was the same PA from my blog “Ball Broth,” who drank the ball broth! A leopard can’t change his spots!

We went to our old standby gay resort - the INNduldge, Palm Springs - to shoot the bicycle cop scene with Nick Capra, Dario Ventura and Ben Damon. Nick plays the cop busting cruisers on the infamous Warm Sands Drive, but he ends up busting a nut instead of writing tickets. One of those three guys claimed to be the secret lover of a “famous cable newsman” (I’m sure you can guess who he is) and he told us some fun stories about their escapades. The newsman would get off on telling the model to, “Get over here and fuck my pink hole.” Charming. Lots of other fun things, too, and we loved how graphic the stories were! We shot two outdoor nighttime scenes: the first with Sebastian Rio and Scott Spears. Rio is apprehended as he tries to escape a home with stolen goods. Officer Spears tackles him to the ground, only to find out that the suspect is his supervisor's son. The son is a brat and torments the officer, asking him to let him go in exchange for sexual favors. The officer at first declines, but once he realizes that it’s past midnight and young Rios has just turned eighteen years old, he reconsiders.

The real scene-stealer of the movie, in our second nighttime scene, was Marco Montana in his scene with Mike Grant. Montana played a drunk man who gets busted while skinny dipping in someone’s pool in the upper class Rancho Las Palmas neighborhood. His performance prior to the sex scene had all of us in stitches, as he tries to tell the officer that he is the vacant home owner's gardener and agrees to be the officers bitch for the night as long as it will help “Mi Familia.” Great nighttime fucking, poolside, and the two were really into each other, just like one other pair that were red-hot together. That was in a main scene with lead Tamas Eszterhazy and a new discovery for us named Cameron Steele. Tamas, with his rocking, absolutely perfect body, and Cameron could not keep their hands off each other even before we got to the sex. Cameron surprised all of us with his super fat cock. It was so fat, I was concerned that slim and trim Tamas would not be able to take it up the butt. I’m happy to say I was wrong, and he swallowed that thing in an instant! I wish we had discovered Cameron sooner because I would have cast him a lot more!

As it turned out, even though I didn’t know at the time, Hot Buttered Cop Porn would be the last movie I would ever make in my career in the adult industry. If I had known then that it would be my last, I might have reconsidered and maybe done something with a little more punch, storyline-speaking. What it does have, however, is really strong sex scenes, beautiful cinematography and top notch production values, which, to me, was always my top priority. So if I was to go out on this movie, at least it was one I can say I am proud of. Except the music - I have no idea what happened with the music in the movie, because it totally sucks. What was I thinking with the music?

Shortly after making this movie, our GM came to visit me in the desert and dropped the bomb that he was selling Catalina Video to Channel One Releasing. It all happened so quickly, I didn’t really stop to think that I could have possibly brokered a deal to keep the rights to some of the movies I directed. My one regret to this day. That was very naïve on my part.

Bio of Josh Eliot:

At the age of 25 in 1987, Josh Eliot was hired by Catalina Video by John Travis (Brentwood Video) and Scott Masters (Nova Video). Travis trained Eliot on his style of videography and mentored him on the art of directing. Josh directed his first movie, Runaways, in 1987. By 2009 when Josh parted ways with Catalina Video, he'd produced and directed hundreds of features and won numerous awards for Best Screenplay, Videography, Editing, and Directing. He was entered into the GayVN Hall of fame in 2002.