Out of Control:
How to Stop Those Vicious Victorian Masturbators
by
Nurse Puppy
Guest Blogger
It was the height of the Victorian era and all was not well,
Self-degradation, addiction, and unnatural vice,
Don't jailbirds know that those things are not nice?
The situation had gotten way out of control,
It seemed like every convict was shining his pole.
Then, what to our wond'ring eyes did appear?
Lo, an invention to protect the good people from fear.
Bind up those organs! Lock them up tight!
Let's put an end to this terrible blight.
And so the good people could then find some peace,
Knowing that prison masturbation had finally ceased.
Thanks to Daniel P. Cook of Hartford, Connecticut, the American public would no longer need to worry about what was occurring behind the walls of prisons and reform schools. On June 14, 1870, Mr. Cook received a patent for a “Self-Protector” to ensure that criminals and juvenile delinquents would no longer be able to touch themselves.
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